Hitlerpaw of TrollClan
by ScientificDerp
Summary: Hitlerpaw is an ordinary apprentice in the clan of TrollClan. (This means he has ADD, is obsessed with MLG, and may or may not be a neo-Nazi.) So what happens after he kills his mentor Derphead for absolutely no reason with his gigantic mustache? It should be obvious... exactly the opposite of what would happen in the canon Clans! (Rated T because it's a crackfic)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This was intentionally made to be stupid and random, so don't post a review telling me that it is. I know it's stupid and random because I wrote it that way, so don't tell me the obvious.**

 **Finally, any resemblance between the main character in this crackfic and Hitler is totally coincidental, except for the name, swastika eyes, and stupid mustache.**

One day Hitlerpaw was walking thru da camp when his mentor Derphead said "get back to your den now ya sissy ibtch or i'll pwn u m8"

"LLAMA'S FUUUUUUUUUUUU" responded Hitlerpaw, and he used his mustache to slice off Derphead's head. It fell on the ground with a splat.

Poopstar came out and howled, "YOU KILLED DERPHEAD!"

Hitlerpaw froze in fire and ice (AAAHHHH THE REFERENCES)

"So it's time for your warrior ceremony!" finished Poopstar.

"What the hsit" asked some random apprentice named Facepaw, but before she could do anything the ceremony was in full swing.

"Hitlerpaw, do u promise to protect TrollClan even at the cost of your own life"

"Hell no" said Hitlerpaw

"Good by the power of piss I give u ur warrior name. Hitlerpaw, from dis moment on u will be Hitlermustache."

"Now, Derphead is dead so I must appoint a new deputy. Hitlermustache, u r da deputy."

"He has no apprentice" yelled Airplanetail, the toy airplane up her butt wiggling with constipation

"So Facepaw is his new apprentice!" Shouted Poopstar. "Lionballs, u r now a queen."

"But I'm a man" Lionballs shouted, his dragging... er, parts... making this quite obvious.

"I DON'T CARE" shouted Poopstar

"Bleat" said Llamaspaw

A pack of Velociraptors ran over her and murdered her to death, but somehow she survived. (Being murdered to death, I mean.) The velociraptors exited stage right.

"Bleat again." said Llamaspaw.

"Oh," said UncleSampaw, Hitlermustache's brother who hasn't been mentioned up to now because he's completely irrelevant to the plot. His confusion led him to eat California.

"FFFUUUuUUUUUU!" shouted Bill Gates.

Everyone stared at the Twoleg, wondering what he was doing in their camp. he backed away slowly in the same direction as the Velociraptors.

This was a blatant mistake.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

"I think something's gone wrong." thought Facepaw. "PissClan help us all!"

 **A/N: Well, that concludes the first chapter. Have some allegiances with your fries.**

 **TrollClan**

 **Leader: Poopstar-Brown tom with poop for balls**

 **Deputy: Derphead-gray tom with derpy eyes**

 **Apprentice, Hitlerpaw**

 **Medicine Cat: Peewhisker-bright yellow tabby she-cat**

 **Warriors:**

 **Crookedeyes- gray she-cat with derpy eyes**

 **Apprentice, UncleSampaw**

 **Lionballs- golden brown tabby tom with a giant... er, you know.**

 **Apprentice, Facepaw**

 **Twoleg- Peewhisker's pet Nazi**

 **Airplanetail- white she-cat with a toy airplane up her butt**

 **Apprentice, Llamaspaw**

 **Apprentices:**

 **Hitlerpaw- black tom with a white Hitler mustache and swastikas for eyes**

 **Facepaw- gray tabby she-cat with her paw glued to her forehead**

 **Llamaspaw- gray she-llama**

 **UncleSampaw- red, white, and blue tom with mustache colored eyes**

 **A/N: Remember to review or Hitlermustache will slice off your head with his mustache!**


	2. Chapter 2

Hitlerpaw of TrollClan: Chapter 2- Attack of the Salads

In Hitlermustache's new life as deputy, things were different. Very much so, in fact, to the extent where he couldn't keep up with all the trolling required with the job.

"Hitlermustache, I wanna take Twoleg out with me on patrol" whined Airplanetail.

Hitlermustache sliced off Twoleg's butt and said no. Then he made a squirrel-n-butt salad, ate half, and dumped the rest on everyone's heads.

"Blech" said Airplanetail.

"Trollololololololol" said Hitlermustache.

"Yummy shit" said Facepaw

Hitlermustache ate her. Then he puked her back up because she tasted disgusting. Facepaw was fine with this.

"Bleat" said Llamaspaw

"FUUUU" said Hitlermustache.

"Can I have more?" asked Poopstar.

"More what m8? Roblox tutorials? Yeah right n00b."

"No, more squirrel and butt salad u anushole."

"Only if u do Facepaw and Llamaspaw's warrior ceremonies." Hitlermustache was unperturbed by being called an anushole because a) he was one and b) he thought it was a compliment about his attractive mustache. (YEAH RIGHT n00b GIT DUNKED OOOOOOON)

"Don't do it Poopstar" warned Peewhisker "StarClan told me Hitlermustache is evil"

"StarClan is stories for babies." said Poopstar, "True men believe in ur mom m9 gwt ufcking dunked on" And he ate her tail, because when you're an anushole you ate peoples tails.

"Facepaw, Llamaspaw, do you promise to defend TrollClan" he asked as he munched.

"Hell no" said Facepaw

"Bleat" said Llamaspaw

"Then by the power of piss I give u ur warrior names. Facepaw is now Facepalm, and Llamaspaw is now Llamasfat."

"Bleat" said Llamasfat

"It's official" thought the marijuana she was smoking. "This Clan has gone crazy, not that it ever wasn't..."

And when the marijuana is the only sane person in the Clan, you know something's wrong with it.


End file.
